Emily's tests

Dandelion Seeds said...
Please let us know how things went today...

I am sure most of you want to know how Emily's test went yesterday. So just to recap Emily had her blood drawn, a chest x-ray, and a CT scan done. We won't know the results for at least 2 more days. Then we will make an appointment with Emily's doctor to talk about them. As soon as we know anything we will let you know.

Yesterday was actually a really hard day for me and I didn't sleep well the night before either, I was anxious about these tests (actually the results). So I got Emily up and dressed to go to the hospital and on the way there I just prayed. First Emily had her chest x-ray and it was just so hard to see our baby in a hospital gown hugging an x-ray machine. Next I had to fill out a form answering questions about Emily. One of the questions was something like, have you ever had cancer and if so...I can't believe I actually circled YES! Then we went in for her CT and this is when things got really hard for me. As I stood in the back of a room with the nurse I just watched my brave littel girl lie on a table with her head taped to it so she wouldn't move. It all of a sudden just became very real to me. I felt my chest start to hurt, and my throat was burning, and my eyes were tearing up. I just felt like I was hit by a truck. I couldn't believe that this was real, that this is actually happening. Our baby has cancer. I just wanted to run out to Emily and grab her and never let her go.

I feel like we are walking through fog and I can't see where we are going or when the fog will end. I feel like I am in a really bad dream and I can't wake up. My baby has cancer.

So that was what yesterday was like for me. Today I am feeling much better and peaceful again. I do still feel very anxious about the test results and the surgery tough. Is it possible to feel peaceful and anxious at the same time? This is all just so weird and different and sad.

I know that God works ALL things together for good (Rom.8:28) and I know that He has Emily's good in His plans. I am just clinging on to Him and I am going to hold on to him the whole way thourgh this. I am trying to let God see us through this fog. I know that some days are going to be really hard, like yesterday. I know that some days are just going to be really beautiful too. No matter what happens I will still call Him Father, I will still call Him Lord.

Some people like sweet Amy from Dandelion Seeds and her super sweet kids have been asking if they can send Emily cards or gifts. Please if you feel like you want to then YES that would be so AWESOME for Emily. She would just love it. She loves cards and getting them in the mail too. So if you would like to do this please e-mail us and we can give you an address.

Thank you all for continuing to pray for us and support us. I would like to ask that you please pray for our family I know this is really hard on a lot of them too. Emily has two grandpas, two grandmas, and three great grandmas who all love her like crazy. She also has 4 aunts, 2 uncles, and 3 cousins that just adore her and love her in such unbelievable amounts. She also has many more extended aunts and uncles and cousins praying and thinking of her. Also please pray for Emily's best friends Abbi, Summer (also her cousin), and Frank (her brother) as they try to understand what is happening to her.

A special thanks to Crystal from Biblical Womanhood and Amy from Dandlion Seeds for making a post and spreading the word on Emily. I am just in awe over all of this support.